


i couldn’t be more in love.

by powerofdestiny



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 3+1 fic, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling Out of Love, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Neck Kissing, Post-Break Up, exes!markhyuck, mark leaves a hickey, nomin are there for 2 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 05:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17073995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/powerofdestiny/pseuds/powerofdestiny
Summary: Three times Donghyuck has drunk called Mark, his ex-boyfriend. One time Mark calls when Donghyuck is sober and settles their feelings, once and for all.





	i couldn’t be more in love.

**Author's Note:**

> hhhh i’m actually very hesitant to post this since i had worked on little bits of this for 3 to 4 days and i’m pretty sure i left out some details and that my writing style had changed! but still i hope the best for this markhyuck fic of mine so happy reading!!

It was 2:37 in the morning and you could hear the sound of empty bottles clashing around from inside Donghyuck’s room. Donghyuck’s roommate, Jeno, couldn’t bother to check on him as this was the third time he had gotten drunk, even wasted this week. Jeno would always seem to remember to clean up after Donghyuck and leave some Advil and a glass of water on the nightstand for Donghyuck after he’s awoken.

Donghyuck could’ve sworn he was still in love with his ex-boyfriend and best friend, Mark Lee. Before Mark and Donghyuck separated, they were very, very in love. Even Jeno was confused as to why they broke up, they seemed happy. He didn’t talk about it much as it has been affecting his roommate this much and it’s been 3 months since. 

Donghyuck was fine for the first 2 months (if you consider hugging a pillow and crying to music fine) until he saw Mark out on a date with Wong Yukhei— Lucas if you will. He felt pathetic. How can Mark move on so quickly? Did he even love Donghyuck? Now, Donghyuck has been drinking to forget the face of the boy who he once loved.

I mean who is he kidding, he can’t forget Mark. He still loves him too much. So when Donghyuck tells Jeno he mistakenly called Mark drunk and continued to tell him how much he’s missed Mark and that he’s sorry, Jeno isn’t surprised at all.

The first time Donghyuck called Mark was a week after he saw him on a date. Yes, Donghyuck had deleted Mark’s number off his phone but weirdly, he had remembered Mark’s number like it was his own. Donghyuck messily typed the familiar number into the keypad of his sleek iPhone X and pressed the green call button.

_ring…. ring… rin— ___

__After two rings Mark picks up despite being almost 3 in the morning, “Hello? Hyuck? Is everything alright??”_ _

__Donghyuck wants to both die and melt into the floor right there. _Hyuck. _Mark has called Donghyuck, Hyuck after what felt like a decade. “You don’t get to call me that. Hyuck. Stop that.” Donghyuck slurs in a drunken state, tears brimming up to his eyes.___ _

____“Donghyuck… Are you perhaps, drunk?” Mark asks even probably knowing the answer already._ _ _ _

____“Yes, you asshat. It’s all your fault too. I’m trying to forget your handsome face but it’s like your ugly face is imprinted in my head. Please get out of my head I don’t want you here. You don’t love me anymore so why can’t I get over you as quick as you got over me,” Donghyuck cries out._ _ _ _

____“You just called me ugly and handsome in the same sentence,” Mark said questioning is contradictory words._ _ _ _

____“That’s not the fucking point. The point is that I’m still helplessly in love with you. And that’s not okay,”_ _ _ _

____“Stop saying things you’re gonna regret in the morning Donghyuck…” Mark said hoping for a response._ _ _ _

____In the background, Mark can hear another gulping sound and he figures that Donghyuck might’ve taken another swig of alcohol._ _ _ _

____From the other side of the phone, Mark’s forehead was scrunched up and he was shaking his head in disbelief._ _ _ _

____“Donghyuck-ah… listen to me okay?”_ _ _ _

____A small grumble could be heard from Donghyuck’s side letting Mark know he was listening._ _ _ _

____“I want you to stop drinking, and stop crying, please? Can you do that for me?” Mark was practically begging at this point._ _ _ _

____“I wish you were here with me, right now. I can’t believe you’re leaving me to spend Christmas miserable and depressed. I can’t even look at the snow outside my window anymore because it reminds me of stupid you and how you miss Canada so much. Everything is you. I wear the hoodie you left me and I can’t bear to wash it anymore because the smell of you on it is slowly fading, it’s the only thing that’s left of you that I have. Maybe one day I’ll be as happy as you and maybe one day I can forget you too.”_ _ _ _

____“Hyu—Donghyuck, I’m so sorry” Mark had looked back to where everything went wrong and it led back to him. Only him. He broke Donghyuck’s heart, shattered it to pieces._ _ _ _

____Donghyuck laughed hysterically on the phone, “Fuck you, Mark Lee.” and he hung up._ _ _ _

____Mark threw his phone at the wall and sobbed into his hands, falling asleep with an even more empty feeling in his chest. Donghyuck did the same too, just missing Mark even more than ever._ _ _ _

____—_ _ _ _

____The second time Donghyuck drunkenly called Mark again, he asked Mark to sing him a song. Mark actually denied at first until he realized he was drinking again._ _ _ _

____“You’re.. drinking aren’t you? What did I say about that,” Mark asked?_ _ _ _

____“Bold of you to assume I would’ve forgotten about you by now. I’ll stop once you stop running around my mind. I’ll stop once you get tired from running in circles,” Donghyuck says._ _ _ _

____That night Donghyuck felt a little bit better knowing Mark can still sing him to sleep. Mark had sang him _their _song.___ _ _ _

______While singing to Donghyuck, Mark was reminiscing how they picked the song. When the pair were still together, Mark would make Donghyuck monthly playlists that included songs that reminded him of Donghyuck. _It Was Love _was the first ever song that went to the playlist and since then, they just both fell in love with the song. It’s just ironic now how the song can still represent the unspoken words Mark was dying to say to Donghyuck. It was definitely love, Mark definitely still loved Donghyuck, he is just scared and a coward.___ _ _ _ _ _

________Mark finished up the song and whispered, “Donghyuck-ah,, are you asleep?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He waited for a response but all he could hear were static sounds the phone emitted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Like the coward Donghyuck would call him, he whispered, “I love you, Lee Donghyuck,” before hanging up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Mark had always questioned himself as to why he could never say “I love you” to Donghyuck when they were together. He was just as confused on how it just slipped out so easily just now. It was fucked up. Everything is fucked up and he just wants Donghyuck back in his arms but he would never be able to because he was a coward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________—_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The third time Donghyuck called Mark, he was uncontrollably crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I wish we could be happy like Jeno and Jaemin. They’re so in love, like how we were. I overheard Jeno confessing to Jaemin and I remembered how your confession to me went. I miss those days where we were so so in love. What happened to us, Mark?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He sniffled and continued, “Why did you leave me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ouchy. That hurt,” Mark said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck laughed, still in tears and said, “Yeah. Been there, done that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Mark sucked in a breath before speaking until Donghyuck cut him off, “If you’re going to apologize, at least make it make sense.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah, I kinda figured…” Mark said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m still mad at you and I don’t think anything is ever going to change that, Mark.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Give me,” Mark paused, “Give me time. I’ll then explain to you why I broke it off… I’m sorry, really.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck huffed out a breath, “Fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After Donghyuck hung up that night, he stumbled into Jeno’s room not caring that Jaemin was in his arms. He just needed to feel something. Something more than just being drunk, something more than just being heartbroken. So he crawled in the middle of Jaemin and Jeno and they cradled him to sleep, not caring that he reeked of alcohol._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________—_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Over time, Christmas passed and Donghyuck stared at his phone all day long._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But still no call._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He even made the trek in the snow that achingly reminded him of Mark to the park they had their first date at, hoping he was there. Still, Nothing. So Donghyuck waited and waited restlessly through day and night wishing his Mark would call him again. Even if it was just for a brief second, he didn’t care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Five days pass by, almost a week, still no calls. Just more heartbreak than normal. Donghyuck was aching. When Mark said he needed time he didn’t think it was supposed to be this long. Mark left Donghyuck almost 5 months now, how much longer does he need._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Six days pass and now it’s New Year’s Eve. Finally, a call._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck picked up almost immediately, not even letting it ring thrice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hyuck…” Mark started off with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck didn’t even bother telling him to stop calling him by that nickname, “Finally ready to tell me why you broke up with me when I was still in love with you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes. More than ready actually. Now open your door.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck widened his eyes, “What?? I know you’re not serious right now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m serious Hyuck,” Mark confirmed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m gonna slap the shit outta you once I open the door,” Donghyuck jokingly (not really) threatens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So when Donghyuck opened the door to his room, there stood Mark Lee standing right in front of him after this whole time. To Donghyuck, he changed— a lot. His golden brown hair was replaced by a sleek black making him look younger but more mature at the same time. He had also lost some weight, making his already prominent cheekbones somehow more prominent. Goddamnit. That was the boy Donghyuck was still in love with._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It took all of Donghyuck’s strength and remaining sanity to not pounce on Mark and kiss him to the point where one of them passes out from lack of oxygen. Donghyuck thought about just hugging him too, but ultimately he decided on neither. They just stood there staring at each other for a few minutes before Jeno walked out of his room across the hall from Donghyuck and cleared his throat, snapping the two of them out of their trance. As a wave of embarrassment rolled over Donghyuck, he grabbed Mark by the wrist and pulled him inside his room, closing the once opened door._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Even though Donghyuck’s hands were cold as ice, Mark’s wrist burned from Donghyuck’s contact. His touch felt foreign, even new and it left a tingling sensation through Mark’s wrist._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When Donghyuck pulled Mark into the room, Mark gave the room a little scan with his eyes. Nothing has changed. Their pictures were all strewn around the room in the same exact place they were always at. Mark had scanned Donghyuck up and down too, eyes lingering way too long at his heart-shaped lips. Donghyuck’s eyes looked dull, there was no more shine to them. His face looked slimmer although Mark’s face was too, Donghyuck’s was more noticeable. Mark stopped his eyes when he met them with his once favorite hoodie, “You do still wear that thing, I thought you were lying.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How could I ever throw this away…” Donghyuck said finally, “It's the only thing that makes me happy anymore.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“D-do I make you happy?” Mark’s heart sank and he needed to know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You once did, a lot, but now I’m dying to know why you’re standing right in front of me right now.” He paused to sigh and whispered “You broke my heart,” as if it was a big secret that no one could know and flopped back onto his bed, feeling Mark’s gaze trained on him. He followed Donghyuck shortly after and sat on the opposite side of him, back facing Donghyuck’s back. Donghyuck has felt the dip in the mattress from behind him, but he didn’t dare turn around. With Mark’s back turned to his back, Mark said, “I had always wondered if I was enough for you. I had always beat myself up when I made you sad or when you cried because of me. I tried showing you the stronger side of me yet I made you vulnerable while doing so. I tried so, so hard to make you happy, to make you love me but it felt impossible if I didn’t put any effort on my part in it. I know you cried that night when I came home late and because I didn’t call you. I know you cried when I didn’t say “I love you,” back. And that’s so fucked up on my part. I had always wondered if I would’ve just opened my mouth to tell you that I loved you, would we be in the position we are right now? Would we both be aching like this? I hate to admit this but while being apart from you for months made me realize how much of a coward I was. I was also fucking childish for not showing that I cared for you as much I did— as much as I do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck silently started crying, tears finally break their ways through. Sobs finally racking through his chest, making his body shake. From the other side of the bed, Mark felt it and snapped his head to look at Donghyuck. Cautiously, he scooted closer and put his hand on top of Donghyuck’s shoulder and spun him so they could face each other. Donghyuck let his eyes trail up to meet Mark’s who was staring down at him with worry and want, needing even. He knew what Mark was trying to say and scooted up and over into Mark’s arms so he could be held once more. He took a deep breath into Mark’s chest and was hit with the smell of honey and peaches. God, he missed this smell. It was the smell of Mark’s body wash that Donghyuck had loved and bought for him. “You’re an asshole,” Donghyuck said into his chest. “Can’t believe after all this time I still manage to feel the exact same in your arms.” Mark has started shaking and Donghyuck parted from his chest to look him in the eyes, the two laying down face to face with each other for the first time in months. Mark had tears streaming down his face, “I’m so sorry Hyuck…” but Donghyuck just wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist and squeezed tighter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know you came over here to give me an explanation but please, you have to tell me how you feel, I want to know what’s going on in that big head of yours, Mark.” so when Donghyuck nodded for him to talk, Mark did._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m scared, I’m so so scared Hyuck. I’m scared that you won’t forgive me and I’m even more petrified that you won’t love me the same anymore. I’m terrified of not mending your broken heart back. I’m scared of losing you more than anything. Breaking up with you… was the worst decision ever. I thought you got sick of me, I thought you wanted someone new. Someone who could actually say “I love you” back.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck kissed the shell of Mark’s ear and whispers, “You’re an idiot for thinking I was sick of you. Yeah maybe sometimes, but at the end of the day, it’s always you. It’s you, you’re the only one Mark Lee._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Half of those things I said drunk, I barely meant it. Well, of course, I meant it when I said I missed you but I could never hate you. I want you in every way possible, more than you could know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________At this point, Mark could tell he was crying of relief, Donghyuck too. So when Donghyuck said, “Now kiss me. And make it last longer than three minutes because I wanna start the new year loving you again,” Mark couldn’t say no at all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Mark pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the date and time, December 31st, 2018, 11:57 pm. He says “Gladly,” before pressing his lips onto Donghyuck’s heart-shaped one. It started with a light and tender kiss, their lips eagerly moving against each other, yearning for more and more. Mark’s hands traveled up and down the small of Donghyuck’s back, slowly making its way underneath his shirt to rub tiny circles in his waist, leaving a warm touch to linger on Donghyuck’s body. Donghyuck’s hands were tightly clasped together behind Mark’s neck, possibly holding him closer than he already was._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck straddled Mark’s waist and Mark pulled away from the kiss lightly, practically still touching Donghyuck lips with his and slowly trailed down to his jaw. Pressing light kisses onto his jaw as Mark went down even further, attacking his neck with kisses. Mark had licked over this one spot below his ear, drawing a whimper from the younger boy. Soon, a purplish bruise was blooming. Donghyuck couldn’t say he hated hickies, but it sure left him red-faced, burning with heat. When Mark returned back to Donghyuck’s lips, he felt like melting just then and there. The both of them licking into each other’s mouths, deepening the sensual kiss._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The booming sounds of fireworks outside startle Donghyuck and jerks backward breaking kiss resulting in Mark groaning in lack of lips to his. Donghyuck pulled Mark back into a hug by the collar of his shirt. He wrapped two arms around his neck and pulled him into a sitting position, Donghyuck still on his lap. Mark picked up his beaten up phone on the bed and checked the date and time, January 1st, 2019, 12:07 am, it read. They both smiled, while foreheads being pressed together. Everything just felt so surreal, he couldn’t believe he was in Donghyuck’s arms again, it was just a miracle._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I love you, Lee Donghyuck” Mark finally said, “More than everything in the world. I want to start the new year with you, only you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Donghyuck nodded into the crevice of Mark’s neck mumbling, “I love you too Mark Lee,” into his skin, tickling him a little._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Like the fireworks that had just exploded into the night sky a few minutes ago, they were exploding in Mark’s chest too, making him feel warm and just so full. Full of love. Donghyuck rested his head onto Mark’s wide shoulder and stayed like that, arms still wrapped around him and still in his lap. He had lifted his head and moved to face Mark. No words were exchanged between the two but the air felt lighter, no more tension between them like when Mark walked through the door just before. The distance between them decreased at a constant speed, making it seem like Donghyuck was moving in slow motion to savor the moment. Donghyuck pressed a kiss onto his lips slowly but surely, moving them like he had all the time in the world to kiss Mark. It was a gentle and tender kiss, nothing they haven’t done before but this time it felt less rushed as they really did have all the time in the world, not caring as it was growing later into the night._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________BONUS:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Jeno burst through the bedroom door of Donghyuck screaming, “Happy 2019 motherfucker!” scaring the living daylights out of the pair making out on the bed. Mark unconsciously threw Donghyuck off his lap and onto the carpet as this wasn’t the first time someone has walked in on them kissing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Mark, you gonna help me up loverboy,” Donghyuck whined from the floor, knocking him from his trance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shit sorry, Hyuckie,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Jeno scratched his nape and shyly mumbled, “Sorry for interrupting… I’ll uhm, go now. Bye!” Mark and Donghyuck both laughed at the boy and flopped back onto the bed, basking in each other’s presence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading~~ leave some kudos pleaseeee


End file.
